Little over a month ago I sent my kids overseas (USA) to visit their father for the summer. This wasn’t easy call to make because I have never been separated from them more than a week.
I was scared and stressed because they were flying on their own. I know they are strong and they know how to behave and take care of them selves but still, as a mother I worry.
When they made it there I was relieved, but now I was worried about the long distance and long time being apart. As soon as I spoke to them on the phone, I heard it in their voice how happy they were to see their father, who they haven’t seen in two years.
After few days I started seeing pictures on Facebook of my kids spending time with their father and his fiancee. In those pictures I saw the excitement and happines on their faces and that made my worries disappear.
I started looking for pictures every morning, first thing I did when I woke up. I wanted to see the smiles on their faces. Not only I saw smiles on my kids faces but I saw how much time their fathers fiancee Brittany was spending with them and how happy she made them.
After few weeks had passed, I received a call from my son that my youngest daughter Lili was really missing me the night before and since they couldn’t get a hold of me, she told his brother that she wanted to go to sleep, because missing mommy hurts and she didn’t want to feel that.
It broke my heart to hear that! Even when tears was poring down, I still knew in my heart that she is okay because I knew how much love she gets from everyone there.
When they are home, Lili always comes and lays next to me when she wakes up. She started doing the same for Brittany, like clock work she crawls next to her too. When I heard this, I knew right away that Brittany is really good for my kids, other wise my daughter wouldn’t do that. She will not show you love like that, unless she (my daughter) really likes you. All my kids know how to behave and be polite, but they will not show love unless they really like you.
Last week when they called me again, my other daughter told me that Lili started calling Brittany ”Mom”. As soon as she said that, my youngest one smiled but was little bit shy about it. Without thinking, I told her ”It’s okay, you can call her Mom. You have a big family now, you have a Mom and Dad there and you have a Mom and Dad here” .
The fact that my daughter is comfortable enough to call her ”Mom” tells me that she really treats them well and with love. I couldn’t be more happy about it! I now know for sure that they receive motherly love while they are there and that is making my kids feel better.
You cannot take things like these for a granted, I am lucky and blessed that my children feel comfortable to call my spouse Arttu ”Dad” and their fathers fiancee Brittany ”Mom”.
Even though we got divorced and ended our relationship as a couple, we have never ended our relationship as parents and us working together for our children has made them feel happy and love from all of us.
Why I am telling this? Because not every parent act right when it comes to divorces. A lot of times pity and anger takes over your feelings and you do things that hurt your children even though you think you are hurting your ex. Your child should never decide “which side they should be on, mothers or fathers” no matter what the reason for your divorce is!
I have said this before and I say It again, thank you Brittany for taking such a good care of my babies while they are there! I truly appreciate it and you! Love you! <3
It takes a village…